VITAMIN C FOR THE FACE

VITAMIN C FOR THE FACE!

DR FRITZ MAURICE PERFECTS A A SPECIAL COCKTAIL FOR THE SKIN THAT HELPS IT STAY YOUNG AND FRESH

by Thomas Brennan

Based in Beverly Hills, California, Dr Fritz Maurice has a large and ever-growing group of patients looking to throw away Trust Fund cash and junk bond dollars for anything that will improve their loathesomely greed-fueled looks. A captive of the Facelift and Botox Ghetto, Dr Fritz, as he comes himself, has used his scientific know-how to devlop a cocktail that will shut the vile and selfishly deluded mouths of his "jet set trash" clientele for keeps

"One hit of this", Dr Fritz laughs fiendishly, as he jabs a honkin' huge scarey needle into the mug of a jaded Bel Air matron,"and this Republican swine won’t know what hit her!".

Dr Fritz's unique cocktail, of which he is the sole creator, is a seamless blend of pine tar, vaseline, bromo seltzer and swatches of taffeta. This infusion is shot directly into the third eye of the client, and is guranteed to not only make them look younger, but also incapacitates them into a state of taxidermy, which is an added convenience while mounting them on a mantelpiece, or wherever else you may wish to have them hosited.

With a sense of fun and frolic that is entirely continental, Dr Fritz chuckles, "With this special mix, I'll have an entire museum of specimens in no time, and can start charging admission. Already, Disney is interested in it as a theme park! Now, I can really make some cash!" Again, he lets loose his trademark chuckle and starts jabbing merrily away!