CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'! PR GURU URGES ARNOLD: "SIMPLY TAKE THE NOMINATION FROM BUSH!"

The Media Jungle is a living, breathing eco-system with its own pecking order. In this intricate latticework at the center of Los Angeles, there lies a honeycomb of office suites that are one part SoHo industrial loft and one-part Barbary Coast bordello. These are the offices of Flitman PR, a media canopy that is home to legendery Starmaker Glurv Flitman, who leaps from rumor-vine to rumor-vine like an agile spider monkey, carefully nurturing the exotic breadfruits of gossip that we, The Public, so hungrily consume.

"Now, don't get me wrong," Glurv begins, Havana cheroot clamped in his laser-blanched rictus. "Smart Money always says you gotta go with the standing President. But this is the Year of The Monkey, baby! Every twelve years, according to the Chinese calendar, when the Monkey comes along you get Big Change! In '56, you get Rock 'n' Roll; in '68, you get Student Revolution; in '80, the Reagan Revolution; in '92, the Clinton Revolution; and now in '04...word among the real Insiders...the Arnold Revolution!

"It's simple," Glurv continues, pacing his well-appointed suite and sipping Cristal champagne from a goblet. "If the mass TV audience compares these two guys on screen, they're simply gonna want Arnold. Here you got Arnold , a guy who comes in from Acting, and within a year's time has California humming like a well-tuned Jaguar. Then you got Bush, who comes in from years of Politics, takes over the best economy we've ever had, and screws everything up. Who's the Statesman and who's the Actor? Is there any question?"

Mr. Flitman is also quick to point out that there are precedents for this kind of circumstance. "Look at the '60 Democratic convention. Adlai Stevenson scared the hell out of Kennedy by putting himself on the ballot and making a floor-fight out of it. Look at the way the unknown Goldwater knocked 'Old Money' Rockefeller aside during the '64 Republican campaign. By these yardsticks, a power like Arnold should turn this convention upside down.

"You gotta admit: Arnold grabs the nomination, everbody is suddenly happy! Democrats get rid of Bush, and they're so happy they change the 23rd Amendment so Arnold can run. Republicans get a shoe-in for the White House. And the USA and the rest of the world wins. You get a Sexy Stud for Prez and a high cheek-boned Mod First Lady! I tell ya, Arnold is Pop Art. It's like that Warhol silkscreen "Mao"--only 50 times bigger and you call it 'Wow!'

"If you like, I'll draw you a picture," the sagacious PR wizard concludes. "You got both Arnold and Maria in gold-spangled, tight-fitting outfits with their names emblazoned across the front--'The Dominator' and 'The Dominatrix'--standing together atop an Elephant and riding it proudly around a packed and ecstatic Madison Square Garden, resplendent and waving, while Bush is peeking in, crouched under the tentflap, muttering 'Huh? What Happened?'"

Please Contact: Tom Brennan Media @ 310.394.5256 _________________________

file:///Users/lisahartouni/Desktop/prguru.htm (2 of 2) [8/28/2006 2:15:47 AM]